I was hooked the minute I entered the Sports Arena at the Tennessee State Fairgrounds and saw the oval track laid out on the concrete floor, its boundaries marked by neon light ropes. We headed for the bleachers, passing up the section labeled “Suicide Seats” on the floor at the track’s edge. Those are appropriate for fans who are really alert or whose teeth aren’t going to be noticeably affected by taking a skate in the mouth.
We were there to see a bout between the Music City Brawl Stars and the Atlanta Rumble B’s. (If you don't appreciate puns, you'd better stop reading right now.) The teams took turns skating around the track to warm up and to show off their aggressive/suggestive Rollergirl names, emblazoned on the backs of their jerseys. As we watched, Hildabeast, Suzy Ho’Maker, Bullie Jean King, Luscious Loosie, Jersey Jackhammer, Cherry Blox ‘Em and Quadratic Abrasion sped past. A troupe of "Jeerleaders" roamed the sidelines, dressed in shimmery, black outfits and carrying sparkly,navy blue pompoms. (Was the black and blue color theme a coincidence?) My favorites wove the Music City motif into their Rollergirl names – Johnny Crash, June Carver Crash and Tammy WhyNot. Notable among the referees were Pall Bearer and Jessticular Fortitude. Even the announcers played for laughs – one looked like a cartoon character wearing an oversize sport coat in a huge block plaid with a combination toupee and nest on his head.
I watched roller derby as a kid, particularly the San Francisco Bay Bombers. Joanie Weston, aka the Blonde Bomber, was their star player. She made 19 All Star teams and was the highest paid female athlete in the 60’s and 70’s according to Wikipedia. Her nemesis, Ann Calvello, was famous for outrageously dyed hair and wild make up, something people noticed in the pre-punk rock era. Calvello’s 12 nose breaks earned her the title of “Banana Nose.” Their style of roller derby was a close relative of Big Time Wrestling with lots of theatrics and staged fights punctuated with chair throwing and other audience participation by outraged fans.
The Brawl Stars racked up a big score beating the Rumble B’s 158 to 51 and this was just the “B” team bout. We couldn’t stay for the “A” team match-up featuring the Music City All Stars, but their warm-up skating session was impressive. As far as entertainment goes, roller derby is much more fun than the low scoring baseball games I’ve dozed through. I read recently that the average Pro football game spends most of its time setting up plays, huddling and kicking with only about 12 minutes of real action. With the Rollergirls, the action never stops – no wonder they get such an enthusiastic crowd. I wasn’t surprised to learn there are teams all over the country including one here in Cincinnati.
I must say I’m glad roller derby wasn’t around when John and David were growing up. They would have loved it but the moves and maneuvers they might have learned would have netted us a second home at Children’s Hospital’s Emergency Room. It sure looked like fun, though. I’d give it a try myself, if I was younger, more coordinated and less afraid of straining, tearing, cracking, herniating or otherwise damaging one or more body parts,. I can just hear my physical therapist friend Sue saying, “You want to try what??? There isn’t enough Advil and BioFreeze on the planet.” I guess I’ll have to be a Rollergirl in my dreams.P.S. I am very grateful to Nashville photographer Brian Murphee who generously agreed to let me use his photos in this blog. See more of Brian's photos on the website www.nashvillerollergirls.com.
P.P.S. You can watch a video of Rollergirls action by clicking the link below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWl_WHzD8bo
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