Guess Who Came to Dinner ? (and Breakfast and Lunch . . . )

We have named our current house “The Spa” because it is such an easy, comfortable place to entertain house guests.  So, the entire Spa staff just spent a highly charged Labor Day weekend trying to impress our latest guest, 3 ½ month-old Willem, who also happens to be our grandson.  Everyone was anxious to be on his or her game for this seasoned traveler who has already flown to North Carolina, ridden in a car to Vermont and taken the subway from Brooklyn to New York Presbyterian Hospital on the outskirts of Harlem this summer.  We were very much aware of the stiff competition.

Naturally, a choice of rooms was available to a guest of Willem’s stature.  At check-in he was offered either a standard room with a Queen sized bed or the businessman’s suite with a desk, a FAX, a copier and internet access including Skype.  Both rooms were equipped with a porta-crib borrowed from Maria and Chris’s high-end Bed and Breakfast in Indiana and endorsed by some of the cutest, smartest and most discriminating babies from L.A., Boston and Cincinnati.

The Spa prides itself on its amenities which extend well beyond terry cloth robes and bottles of designer water.  It goes without saying that our valet service included laundry pick-up and delivery.  After much thought, Mickey and Minnie Mouse diapers were chosen primarily because they were the right size although

there was considerable debate among the staff over whether Willem would prefer something more literary like Harry Potter or more macho like Superman in a diaper.   Our porta-crib source also supplied a baby bathtub so comfortable and luxurious that Willem was tempted to conduct most his day’s business from the bath, like Winston Churchill, although, unlike Winnie, he declined a morning cigar.

During his leisure hours, Willem hung out with our diverse recreational staff (above) made up of a turtle, an elephant, a koala,

a lion, a pig, a woolly mammoth and a raccoon, none of whom are great conversationalists except the pig, who squeaks. The elderly lion surprised everyone by still being able to play “You Are My Sunshine,” and he received the same rave reviews from Willem that he had gotten from Willem’s dad 31 years ago.  They all put out their best effort and, as you can see from the photo, Willem actually played himself into a stupor one morning.

The Spa staff searched the archives relentlessly until they found the legendary “Banana Man,” buried in a box with baby moccasins, a Davy Crockett shirt, Mrs. Tiggy Winkle dishes, and a huge Ernie that Granny knit for David.  Willem developed an intense relationship with Banana Man; and, over the course of the weekend, they went about 16 rounds during which Willem scored two headlocks and five take-downs.  Banana Man tends to get rambunctious though; and he had to take several time-outs when the movement of the boink-y balls all over his body was a little over the top for Willem.

For quiet times, The Spa’s library put everything from “Pat the Bunny” to “Peter Rabbit” to “Watership Down” to “Rabbit Run” at Willem’s disposal.  He appeared to find the facility adequate although his taste ran more to “Max’s New Suit” and “Panda Cake” than to “War and Peace” and “Crime and Punishment.”  Unexpectedly, he passed up the chance to use The Spa’s Nautilus equipment and elliptical machine, preferring his own work out routine involving a lot of kicking for the quads and arm flailing for the delts and pecs to maintain his svelte physique.

The concierge, well versed in local attractions, provided suggestions for outings although Willem preferred lounging on The Spa’s deck.  He did manage a short meet-and-greet with the neighbors and with Paul’s office staff; and he greatly enjoyed his first visit with his Great Grandma.

Naturally eating was a major focus of Willem’s day.  He declined to sample Skyline Chili, even indirectly, but did react positively to other people’s enjoyment of home brew, raisin pumpernickel bread and Graeter's Raspberry Chip ice cream.

All in all, Willem, aka the “good mood dude,” appeared to enjoy his visit despite the fact that he failed to fill

out the Comment Card in his room and he neglected to leave a tip for the maid. (That will not be a surprise, however, to those who have seen the maid's housekeeping skills first hand.)  We are all waiting to see whether Willem will give The Spa a Five Silver Rattle rating on Trip Advisor and whether he will book himself in when he returns to Cincinnati.  We certainly hope so.

P.S. Thanks to Megan for the four photos at the top of this post and the photo of Willem and great Grandma.